I was raised that one should be in Church and as a child we went to a Baptist Church, but it
didn’t take.
By worldly standards, I was a normal kid but I had gotten into Heavy Metal music and all that
follows that type of music. Although unknowingly at that time, I had gotten into some stuff that
had caused me to be possessed by devils. And no, I didn’t wallow around on the ground and
foam at the mouth. If that is your only view of demon possession, you have been highly deceived.
My mother was in a Gospel group called The Woodard Singers. As a teenager, I would go listen to them sing at different churches. Going to many different churches, I remember one would preach that speaking in tongues was of the Spirit of God and then go to the next church and they would preach that tongues was of the devil. So, I concluded that all these Christians were crazy, that they didn’t know what they believed.
At the age of 18, I was getting married because my girlfriend was pregnant. I found a job at a
Gas station and she had to quit school. We had a son, and a couple of years later a
daughter. I did all I could at the time, but when your full of the devil, your marriage and everything else falls apart. Satan is the master of destruction and the evidence in our lives was the proof of it.
I can see these things now, but at the time was oblivious to it. We were young and immature, full of selfishness and deceit and our marriage was over after 3 years.
I found myself divorced and raising 2 children on my own. Not knowing any different, I would go
out on the weekends and party, trying to live and find something to fill that void on the inside. I was lost and lonely and everything I touched seemed to fall apart.
I did manage, with the help of my father, land a good paying job at an Automotive Manufacturer but that did not change the troubled person I had become. I remember one night laying in my bed, crying out to God with everything in me for help. Yes, I believed in God but did not know Him. Ya know the Bible teaches that even the devils believe and tremble, so it does no good to believe if you don’t enter through the door.
Months later, in 1993, my mother started talking to me about my children needing to be in
church. And I knew she was right. She told me of a church that she had heard of and wanted to visit, so one Sunday we loaded up and went to church. The kids loved it. This church had a great children’s ministry and my kids wanted to go to church. And I was ok with it. I would go in and sit on the back row and stay to myself, get my kids afterwards and go home.
I remember sitting there during the invitation and would feel (the way I described it) pressure.
This went on for weeks. Then one week, in particular, my children, especially my daughter, could not wait to get into church. She had just turned 4 and was saying all week long over and over, is it time to go to church yet? So I made her a promise that we would go to church that Sunday.
Well, I was in a friends wedding that weekend and we partied each night, so come Sunday morning, there was no going to church. When I went to pick up the kids, it was midday and she was taking a nap. When I went to pick her up, she woke and the first thing out of her mouth was, is it time to go to church now? I felt so bad that I told her right then, we will go tonight.
So, that night we went to church. I thought that church started at 7pm, but at this church it started at 6:30, so we were late. Walking in, an Usher caught me and stated that I should wait
for them to dismiss the kids, take them to their class, and then I could slip into the sanctuary
without much bother. So I did, but when I walked into the sanctuary, the back row seat that I was used to sitting in was roped off. The whole back half of the church was roped off! Everyone was sitting in the front half of the church and I didn’t know what to do. There was a little Usher
standing there that grabbed my arm and with a big smile he said, come on I’ll find you a seat! and to the front we went.
Ya know, I was looking for a seat in the back of the seating section, but that little usher took me
all the way to the second-row center. I was immediately uncomfortable. Totally out of my comfort zone, but I moved down away from everybody and sat down. They had a music ministry going on that night with a good playing band, so I thought, ok, this will not be so bad after all, I think I can handle this. I sat and listened to the band play and everything was fine, until…they started to worship. Once the church started to join in with worship, the only way I know to describe it is as a rage that began to stir within me, a great rage. I could feel this rage it turning round and round on the inside of my chest. In my mind, I was confused and did not understand what was happening to me. This continued while they worshiped and it was really messing me up. The one singing began to give the invitation to accept Jesus as Lord and this rage was on the inside of me messing me up bad, but I wasn’t going anywhere. Three men went to the front and the singer stepped down and said “something is not right”, I want everyone in here to ask the person next to them if they are saved. So everyone started asking one another laughing as they did (assuming because they were already saved), and there I stood, staying to myself the best I could with this rage on inside of me. Everyone started to calm down and it was almost over, then all the sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and there stood a woman that asked me if I was saved? With all that was happening on inside of me, I was becoming a mess. At this point I was caught and knew that I was going to hell. So I answered her, no. Tears started to pour out and I began to shake all over, this rage was really messing me up bad. I went to the front and looked at the singer and said “man, this is hard”. He just gave me this pitiful look. He had no idea what was going on inside of me.
He said for us to go with the usher, so we went into a side room. Once inside, we were asked to
fill out a card and I was shaking so bad I could not even write my name. The usher told me to
wait and calm down, then we could go back to our seats. No-one, not the singer or usher prayed
with us to accept Jesus as our Lord.
Once I had calmed down, I went back to my seat. I was a mess, but the rage had stopped and I was just confused as to what was happening to me. Well, they started singing again. Then, the Church started to worship again. Then, the rage on the inside of me started again. But this time, the worship became more intense and with it the rage became more intense. They came to a part of the song where they were repeating the words of worship and that’s when the rage became more than I could handle. I threw my hands up into the air and cried out with everything in me, JESUS FORGIVE ME… and BOOM…I felt the rage (devils) go out through my back in an upward angle. At the same moment, the Love of God fell on me and went in me, so great, it’s indescribable. I was totally and completely filled within and all around with the Love of God. It was as though Jesus was embracing me Himself.
At the same time, I saw four words go up in front of me but I only focused on the two in the
middle, one which was “KISS”. A heavy metal band that I had worshipped in my youth and the other word was “Guilt”, from some things I had done in my past.
I saw up in front of me a man in a white robe. But because he was above me off the floor, I only saw the bottom of the robe that went just below the knees and the shins. It all happened so fast, I didn’t have time to look around to really catch all that was going on.
I found myself standing with my hands raised high, tears pouring out, totally saturated with the Love of God. I was completely delivered and set free! All I wanted to do at this point was to shout praises to God. Immediately I felt intimidation come to stop me from doing this, but then remembered all the times I spent at rock concerts singing and shouting with my hands raised and made a decision that I wasn’t going to give God any less than I had given the devil. So I began to sing louder and louder.
At the end of the song, the singer was closing and I sat there shaking, completely overwhelmed by all that had just taken place.
When it was all over, the lady that had asked me if I was saved was sitting nearby and I thanked her. She said that she was happy for me and that “I had a lot to look forward to”. I just looked at her and thought, what else could there be, I had just received God.
Still in tears and I’m sure I looked a mess, I walked over to the singer to thank him, but he wanted nothing to do with me. But it was ok, I was free.
As I walked out, I began to examine myself on the inside, there was nothing there, I was clean. Everything I thought I was, the love for rock music among other things, was all gone. I was clean, I felt so clean.
I went to pick up the kids and walked into my daughters classroom, I fell to my knees and hugged my daughter, crying again. My son came up to us as well. My daughter was patting me on the head saying “what’s wrong daddy?” Her teacher spoke up and said it’s ok, this is not a bad cry, it’s a good cry. I said “I just got Jesus” and My son took a step back, looked at me and said “you didn’t know Jesus?” I said no, but I do now.
As we left church that night, I remembered that a guy (that I used to work with) listened to a Christian radio station (Way FM). So I searched the stations till I found it. There was nothing in me that wanted to hear any of the stuff that I used to listen to.
Now this is silly, but I began to think I was the only person like this. Simply because I knew a lot
of people that called themselves Christians, but did know any that lived what I knew I had just become. Until on the way to work Monday morning, listening to the Christian radio station, someone called in to the radio station and I instantly knew, they were like me. I was so relieved that I wasn’t alone.
As I went to work the next week, I just pretty much stayed to myself. There was nothing in me that wanted to be part of anything from my past. I didn’t know how to act towards the others now that I was not the same person that they knew before. I just praised the Lord and kept to myself.
A week or so went by and the presence of God had been with me the whole time, until it seemed to lift all the sudden. And I thought, uh oh…did I just lose what I had. I was troubled. Well it just so happened that there was a man working across the aisle from me that was a good Baptist Christian named Lynn. So, I turned to him and said, hey Lynn, can i ask you a question? He said sure, and I hesitantly asked, if a person gets God, can they lose it? He looked at me and said, wait a minute…are you trying to tell me you got saved? I very sheepishly and kinda quietly said yes…and he came unglued. He jumped up with excitement and said I’ve been praying for you! And this started Lynn teaching me about Salvation, what had happened to me.
I remember once in our conversations, I told him that I believed that a person could move objects with their mind. (see, I told you I was messed up before) Lynn started saying no, no man, you don’t know what you are dealing with. I replied, oh yea, if a person focus’ enough, he can move objects with the power of the mind. Lynn was strongly trying to tell me that this was bad stuff. Then as I turned away to work, the Holy Spirit said (on the inside of me in a stern voice) “Don’t challenge him, you know better”! And then all the sudden I realized, that I did know better.
The Holy Spirit had just corrected me. I got so excited because I had just heard His voice. I turned to Lynn and told him what had just happened and his jaw dropped. He knew that the Holy Spirit had just talked to me. He responded that he doesn’t ever hear the Holy Spirit speak to him like that.
Every time we worked together our conversations were about Salvation, hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit and then on to speaking in tongues. I had a lot of questions about a lot of stuff.
The second week at work I decided to bring a Bible to work. I was so hungry for the things of God, I had to know more. I had a pocket Bible and decided that I would read at lunch. Now keep in mind that nobody else knew what had happened to me. I sat down at lunch with the same group of folks that I had always sat with and slipped the Bible on the table under my hand. Already feeling intimidated I thought, oh well, this is me now and lifted my hand from off the Bible. As soon as I did, the whole table became silent. Everybody stopped everything and the intimidation grew mightily. When they did start talking again, they would not even look at me. I even tried bringing up football to the guy sitting next to me and he ignored me completely. No-one at the table would even acknowledge that I was there. So, i just started eating and reading my Bible. For at least the next week, no one would even look at me much less talk to me, accept Lynn.
Over the next few weeks at church I was hearing about praying in tongues. So I began talking to Lynn about it and he regularly tried to talk me out of it. Telling me things like, he had a minister friend that was involved with casting out a devil and the person that had the devil started speaking in tongues. That was their assumption anyway. So in Lynns mind, tongues was of the devil. He also began telling me the doctrine that the Baptist have about the subject of tongues. He stated that in 1 Corinthians 13:8-10 it says that Love never fails, but prophecies shall fail, tongues shall cease and knowledge will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect shall come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
Lynn stated that the word “perfect” in verse 10 was the same word “perfect” used in James 1:25. Saying that the “perfect” law of liberty is the word of God. He said that the perfect law of liberty is the new testament and when the new testament was written, then “that which is in part shall be done away with”. He stated that tongues was used to gain revelation from the old testament to write the new testament and now that it was written, tongues is no longer needed and was done away with.
All of this sounded very logical, but something on the inside would not let me accept it. (1st John 2:20)
So I turned around to my workstation and opened my Bible to 1 Corinthians 13 and I said to the Lord, Lord I don’t know what to believe. Whether tongues is for today or not. So, I’m asking to you to show me the truth. And I started reading through 1 Corinthians 13.
As I was reading through, I came to verse 10 that says but when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away, something on the inside came up that happened to me when I was in 1st grade in Mrs. Deans class at Inglewood Elementary.
Mrs. Dean had made a statement and said, the word “that” in a sentence always refers to the subject being talked about. And the reason I remembered it so vividly is because when she said this, I felt it shoot into me. The words went right through my chest on the inside of me and I remember as a kid, being surprised at what had just happened.
With this, I read 1 Cor. 13:10 and realized, the word “that” in verse 10 is referring to the subject being talked about, which is love. Not the written word of God as in James or the New testament. Verse 10 was talking about Love.
So then, when that which is perfect, being the maturity of Love, is come, then that which is in part shall be done away with. As explained in verse 11, Paul is referring to maturing in God’s love and that when you mature in the fullness of God’s love there will be no more in part, because we will know Him as we are known. Therefore, tongues is not done away with. Even more so, considering the statement that Lynn had made about using tongues to gain revelation of the old testament to write the new, (which is true by the way) how much more do we need tongues to gain revelation to understand the word of God, old and new testament today!
So the question of whether tongues is for today or not was settled in me forever.
After this I began to seek the Lord for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I would get caught up in worship at church and and tongues would start coming up on the inside of me. I would yield to it and start speaking in other tongues only to hear myself and because I didn’t understand it, I would shut it down. This happened over and over for about a month or so. Then one day when I was leaving work, I walked through the office area and several Japanese men walked passed me speaking Japanese. All the sudden the Holy Spirit spoke up on the inside and said, “see, you can’t understand them either”. That is when I realized that tongues was a foreign language and that I didn’t have to understand it to speak it. And I’ve been yielding over and praying in tongues every since. As for Lynn, well he taught me well on the issue of salvation as any good Baptist would, but his belief of the word stopped there. So we went our separate ways.
As I grew in the things of God, I began to pray in the Spirit while working on the assembly line. If the line was running, I was praying. But not out loud, so that it did not draw attention, but in a whisper, under my breath. Some people need to realize that God is not deaf, so you don’t have to yell for God to hear you praying in tongues. And no, your not yelling or warring at the devil when your praying on other tongues. The Bible says that your talking to God and that it is for your personal edification in God. That is, your growth.
I also started reading my Bible on the line as much as possible. I would work hard to get some extra time and read what I could, then work hard to get extra time again and read some more. But I always put work first, because I was getting paid to work, not read. And as long as the work got done, the boss’ didn’t seem to mind.
Although I remained friendly, I pretty much stayed to myself and prayed in the Spirit and read my Bible. When conversations did arise, it was because someone would ask me about the word.